Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Who are you to doubt Ratko Crnic?

To me, that is the greatest wrestling promo (interview) of all time. The Rock, Chris Jericho and the various incarnations of Mick Foley were all better performers on the mic, but Bret Hart nailed this classic to perfection.

Maybe it's because I've always enjoyed the comedy of the absurd more than most. I always thought nominating Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex in every forum thread discussing the greatest song of all time far funnier that it probably really is. Building up the perpetual loser that El Dandy as a legitimate contender strikes a chord in that regard.

The Hitman's eye rolling can top any teenager's sarcasm. Mocking Booker T by using "aks" instead of ask is gold. Claiming Mean Gene Okerlund is trying to "tear these guys down" when calling Psicosis "Hypnosis" and following up with "whatever" when corrected is brilliant. Works on another level as well, considering it was obvious WCW was continually tearing the Mexican luchadores down. The "he's a high flyer of the highest magnitude" line reminds me of the Fistful of Yen sequence from The Kentucky Fried Movie, and that just doesn't happen often enough.

Even Bret's stutter in delivering the "who are you to, to doubt El Dandy" line works. Is he incredulous the superbly earnest Mean Gene is not buying it?

Now the only thing that packs so much gold into one package more than this are the ads placed in Soccer Action in the 1980's by prospective coaching superstar Ratko Crnic. And there's two packages! As well as a rare case of not being able to determine which is better, the original or the sequel, because they are both so damn good.

So who are you to doubt Ratko Crnic? He was born for football. The authorities wanting badges and credentials try to tear him down, but that's because he has the secret to success that they don't. And is there a more random line of genius anywhere ever than "My dream is to see England at the top in world soccer". Not in this universe.

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